I am paying the price. Here I am again for the third time, here I am in front of this fucking mirror crying my eyes of for who? For what? None of them gave a fuck. Here I am once more as if my burned childhood wasn’t enough, as if my love and the life that I created it with him that he smoked it wasn’t enough. Here I am once again paying the price for someone else’s fucking selfishness for someone else’s decision to be high to be wasted to be gone. Its my little brother , it’s the same person that I remember him being born , it’s the same person that I played with that I grown up with it’s the same fucking person who leaves with out telling us who doesn’t call for 48 hours , same person that we go to police stations and hospitals to find his dead body and then he walks in high . Here I am one more time, tired , hurt, broken . Yeah I know I take it personal but how many times should I go through this? How many times should I get to the conclusion that yes they didn’t care about me they didn’t care what they do will do to me , they just didn’t care three people that are really important to me didn’t even care enough to come home sober. I never stop loving them but I can choose not to be a part of their life, however how can I not to be part of my little brother’s life/? I broke up the engagement, I don’t talk to my father but how can I leave my brother behind?