I never learned how to be like you even in the darkest days. I never assumed the worst in people even when I was not able to pick myself up from the bathroom floor. True, I never had the experiences that you had but like you I dealt with the addiction of a partner and like you I left him behind but after that I did not stop loving , I did not stop hoping to fall in love again. Unlike you I didn't think that men from my country are horrible, I still gave them the benefit of doubt. Unlike you if someone treated my like dirt I didn't normalize it just because he was white. Unlike you I am proud of who I am and I know that I deserve to be loved and to be treated with respect and if someone doesn't treat me the way I want I will not create excuses on their behalf. You never understood that we might be similar in our outer shells but inside I always felt beautiful and never allowed anyone even you to make me believe that I am imperfect, even though you tried really hard. I came to love you after many years, it was not easy trust me it was not. But I understood you, I saw your pains, I did not make excuses for your behavior but I saw how it was created. You never understood me and I am not asking  you to do so . I just know that I just have to keep loving you and know that you would never ever change.